


Lingering Hugs

by mnm_moons



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Five stages of having a crush, Fluff, Live, Logicality fluff, M/M, Valentine Fic, Will - Freeform, and he is hopelessly in love, bc why not, but dont tell him that!, but he loves him anyway, but it doesnt take place during valentines, crush fic, honestly this was all created because i was too into the whole pining characters thing, i cant even stop myself, i cant stress enough how gay logan is im this pLEASE just read it, i worked hard on this and you all need to know how i appreciate my boys, im just describing how gay everyone is, its just that im writing it during valentines, its supposed to be a secret, logan 'uhh i got my feelings surgically removed' sanders, logan doesnt know what feelings are, logan is a hhhh confusion??¿¿¿?? gay, logan is a nerd and he is gay, logan is not okay, logan: yes hello my name is logan sanders and feelings are sCARY PLEASE HELP ME, logan? more like logay, logans too gay for his own good, my tags are anything but normal, on, patton is a 'uwu so pure so lovely' gay, patton is a nerd and he is also gay, patton is just an amazing little angel, patton is stupidly perfect, pining nerds, roman feeds off of logans inner gay suffering, roman is a '#trendy #omg #just get together you fools' gay, roman is a shark and logans emotions is his prey, roman tries to set them up, romans a dipshit and he is a hardcore shipper, virgil is a 'what the fuck. what the fUCK' gay, virgil is just sick and tired of romans shit, virgil never has been okay, well jOkes on yoU buddy, who drives logan crazy, you came here expecting normal tags did you, you cant stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-10-22 05:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17656412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnm_moons/pseuds/mnm_moons
Summary: Precisely 49 hours, 37 minutes, and 6 seconds ago, a hug between Logan and Patton had been shared, but something was... off.Yes, the two had shared hugs before, but this particular one had made Logan... feel feelings, an anomaly in itself. A jumble of feelings unknown to him until now.He doesn't know what he's feeling, or even much of anything on the subject of feelings, but he definitely knows one thing for sure: he was so, sO gay





	1. Logan Is Probably Not Straight And Also Denial

**Author's Note:**

> *leans in so my mouth is touching the mic*
> 
> happy valentines day, accept my offering

It had been two days since the hug, and Logan was still freaking out.

He didn't know much about feelings, but he was plenty sure that a simple gesture of affection wasn't meant to have this kind of affect on normal people. Feelings. The bane of his existence.

Precisely 49 hours, 37 minutes, and 6 seconds ago, a hug between him and Patton had been shared, but something was... off. It was a lingering hug, one that had taken more moments of embracing than that which Patton had given the others, one that ensured safety and warmth over anyone else.

Maybe it had been the hush that fell over the family when they realized the hug had been prolonged that caused Logan's reddening cheeks, or maybe it had been the fact Patton still hadn't let go. All Logan knew was after a prolonged two minutes and twenty seven seconds, the hug split apart, and while Logan would never admit to missing the warmth, he did.

And now, here he was. The brains of the group, unable to focus on anything but that moment roughly forty nine hours ago. Logan wasn't supposed to keep going back to that! He was supposed to be writing notes and making graphs and reading pages and pages on something rational.

But all he could write were small doodles on the margins of his paper and Patton's name in cursive, over and over again, and the only things he was reading were Wikipedia articles of how to stop thinking of hugs.

Giving up on the idea of cramming in extra information, Logan produced a sound which somehow was the cross between a heavy sigh and an annoyed groan. He lowered his head, resting it on the dark oak desk, and closed his round eyes, hoping for some peace in the darkness closing his eyes offered.

Peace was far from what he got. Just as soon as his eyelashes met, the memory came back vividly, splashing his mind and somehow making his normally pale face grow hot and turn red.

Logan was reduced to a mess because of... of what? Maybe this was... love? Getting red hot because of a hug?  Being unable to think about anything else? Was he... feeling love?

"Nope," Logan denied. "That's absolutely preposterous. Unimaginable! Impossible! Unbel—"

"Are we talking about your mom again?"

Logan jumped, turning to the source of the noise. Virgil, leaning on his doorway with a small smirk resting on his make-up covered face.

Virgil, although usually being too anxious to speak to most people in general, was one who conversed with the analytical side way too many times, claiming he only looked for conversations with the Crofters Appreciation Club president because Logan was the most relatable side.

The face of a broken man caught the sight of Virgil. Logan looked like literal hell. Virgil scrunched up his nose in what seemed to be a concerned but slightly disgusted face. Logan frowned.

"Do you need assistance on anything, Virgil?"

The sentence sounded harsh in Logan's ears the moment he muttered it, but Virgil just continued to stare at Logan's messy appearance.

"No, but looks like you need assistance, Lo," Virgil replied. "You honestly look like shit, Logan. What's up?"

Logan eyes were halfway closed in exhaustion, but the focused iris in Logan's warm brown eyes suggested he was not ignoring Virgil. Logan's throat suddenly got dry, looking away and muttering a quiet, "Nothing."

The darkly clad man leaning on the door frame rolled his eyes, suggesting that he did not buy what Logan was selling at all. Logan didn't care about that. Virgil would think what he wanted to think, he was Virgil. He didn't care about whether or not Virgil believed him. He didn't care about what Virgil's opinion was about the hug.

"Not to sound weird, Virgil, but what did you think about the hug Patton and I shared forty nine hours ago?" Aaaand, there it was. Logan mentally slapped himself, watching the smirk curl up on Virgil's lips, like a cat watching it's prey squirm.

Virgil's eyes narrowed. "Really?" He laughed, making Logan blush in embarrassment. "That's what this is about?"

Logan averted eye contact and huffed out a breath. "You don't have to be such a caveman about it," he muttered under his breath, eyes glaring at the floor. 

"Actually," Anxiety drawled, walking up to Logan's bed and sitting on it casually, "I do."

Logan frowned. He'd have to straighten those bedsheets up later. But for now, Logan crossed his arms and put on an expectant expression, as if telling Virgil to go on. Virgil took the gesture and grinned. "First off, you are a dork."

"Okay, yeah, hello, get out of my room."

For what seemed like the millionth time in their exchange, Virgil rolled his eyes once more. "Let me finish, L." Still stubbornly glaring at Anxiety, Logan closed his mouth to a thin line and sighed defeatedly. "Let me get this absolutely straight—"

"Something about being gay?" A new voice from the doorway interrupted. Logan knew who it was before he even looked. The spectacled side groaned as Creativity walked into his room, uninvited. He made a point to mentally note to lock his door. "What is happening here, left brains? Party that I'm not invited to?"

Virgil saluted in greeting. "Hey, Ro—"

Logan groaned. "Oh, please don't tell him—" 

"Tell me what? And, Logan, you look like a mop."

"Thanks."

"Any time. Now what are we talking about over here?"

"Logan's still caught up about the hug Patton gave him two days ago."

Logan groaned in exhasperation. 

"Oh my gods and goddesses, Logan, you are a nerd."

Rubbing his temple, Logan glared at the two sides who seemed to have had teamed up against him to terrorize him about his feelings. Logan pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose and glared. "Okay, both of you, out. Out of my room."

Neither side made a move to leave. Roman looked at him with a deadpan expression. "Okay, well, moving on! Logan, you're a gay mess."

Logan sputtered in disbelief. "Wh-What?"

Virgil crossed his arms, fixing Logan with a stern stare. He shook his head and laughed, almost to himself. "Oh my god," Virgil gasped, a wide smile creeping up on his lips and his eyes sparkling almost mischeivously. "Ro, I don't think he knows."

Logan's eyebrows scrunched up on confusion. "Falsehood," He interrupted. "I can not not know something you morons do! It is my job to know. And you are both idiots."

Roman doubled over laughing as Virgil glared at him. "Oh, Logan," Roman sighed, resting his hand on his cheek. "It's okay to not know. You aren't exactly the most feelings-aware person in the mindscape. And you're trash, so."

"Very helpful," Logan sarcastically deadpanned, voice monotone.

Roman put a hand over his heart and smiled. "I know, I try," he accepted the compliment. "But enough about how amazing I am, it's time for you to realize what exactly you're feeling!" 

Logan pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and straightened his tie, almost arrogantly. "What could you possibly know that I don't al—"

"You have a crush on Patton," Virgil interrupted impatiently.

Processing data.

Loading.

Loading.

Loading.

Trouble processing. Please restart your LOGAN.

"I'm sorry— WHAT!" Logan screeched, an inhuman screech that rivaled Roman's scream itself. Imagine if a teen going through puberty were to inhale helium and have a voice crack while screaming bloody murder. And also, Satan's in the room, for some reason. Accurate description of Logan's screech.

Virgil snorted at the over reaction while Roman laughed, rolling his light brown eyes as if you would to a child. Logan wasn't a child, and he certainly didn't want to be treated as such.

"I do not have a crush on Patton," he insisted, crinkling his nose at the thought of him having feelings, and for his polar opposite no less.

Roman sighed and stood up, making his way to the bookshelf next to Logan's desk, perhaps searching for a book.

"Does your heart flip whenever he laughs at one of your jokes or compliments you?" Roman quizzed. 

Logan's eyebrows furrowed. "I can assure you, my heart is in the same place as it always is. How would that even work? Do you know basic human anatomy?"

"Metaphorical, Logan," called Virgil from Logan's bed.

"Oh." He felt dumb. "Well, I guess I am filled with... ah, a sense of accomplishment whenever I make him smile, but that's normal with friends, right?"

Roman gave him a knowing look before turning to Virgil. The two rolled their eyes. "If I were to say 'I love how you look today,' would you treasure my compliment more than if Patton were to say it?"

Logan pursed his lips. Roman nodded. "Exactly. Moving on, do you care more about how you look when you're in the same room as him?"

"I care about how I look when I'm in the same room as anybody," Logan answered swiftly. "Presentability is a factor for being treated professionally."

Virgil gave him a once over. "Lo, you are literally a mess right now. I can assure you that you won't even think about looking like this in front of Patton."

Logan glared at the anxious side. "Okay, so I do not want him looking at me like I'm some piece of annoyingly sticky gum that got stuck on his shoe, big deal! That doesn't prove anything."

"Do you think more about how you act around him than with other people?"

"Yes, but I always have to be aware of how I act around everyb—"

"Do you find yourself drawn to him like a moth to a lamp?"

"Sure, but—!"

"Do you go to greater lengths to make sure he's happy or to check if you're doing something that makes him sad than you do with other people?"

"I mean, yes—"

"Do you find yourself making up fantasies in your mind in which you're both spending time together and such?"

"Yes, but—!"

"Do you want to be in a relationship with him?"

"Yes—!"

Silence gave the room an eerie noise. It was quiet for a while before an intake of breath moved the still air, accompanied by the creaking of a mattress. Virgil chuckled. "I'd hate to break it to you, L, but that sounds like a pretty prominent crush there."

Roman dropped a thick red book in front of the nerd. Logan scanned the title. Signs That Thomas Has A Crush On A Boy, by Patton "Morality" Sanders.

"Your crush made a book about this," Roman smirked. 

Logan's mouth felt dry and his head felt empty. 

He was factual. He was unbiased. He was... he was.... If he couldn't even stay as how he was manufactured, how dare he call himself Logic?

"I'm...." Logan paused, unsure of what to do or say. "I...."

"Careful there, don't want your head exploding."

"I have a crush on Patton...?"

"No, really?" Virgil's sarcastic tone almost made Logan roll his eyes. "I didn't realize."

Logan looked back and forth between the two sides occupying the room with him. He couldn't have an infatuation with anyone.... He was supposed to be Logic! Cold, hard, and unbiased Logic. Schoolgirl crushes weren't— They weren't allowed! They were against his coding! 

No. No way. He did not like Patton. Roman simply... rushed to conclusions! Yes, that was it! He didn't— No, he couldn't like Patton. At least not romantically. No way.

"Stage one of infatuation," Roman monologued, giggling at the thought of little Logan having a schoolgirl crush. "Denial.


	2. Logan Is Most Likely Not Straight And Also Bargaining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yO my name is alex and i project my repressed gay feelings on characters

_BEEP._

_BEEP._

_BEEP._

_BEEP._

Logan groaned, blindly sticking his arm out of the comfort of his warm blankets to reach over his bedside table and slam his hand down on his alarm clock. The beeping stopped, and Logan, annoyed, grumbled as he slowly sat up, rubbing his temples and reaching to the bedside table for his glasses.

Pressing the glasses to his face, Logan blinked, eyes adjusting to the sunlit room. He yawned and stood up, stretching as he did so and straightening his wrinkled plain shirt and pajama pants to their best presentable abilities.

Sighing to himself, Logan sleepily exited his room and walked down the carpeted hallway down the stairs and to the dining room. Seated around the table was Virgil, dressed in pajama pants and his purple hoodie, as well as Roman in a plain white shirt and short red gym shorts, undoubtedly back from his morning creativity run.

"You're up early," Logan commented at Virgil, groggily taking a seat at the table next to him, just across the melodramatic side.

Virgil glanced at him tiredly. "Bold of you to assume I even slept," Anxiety replied, the uncovered bags of his eyes prominent on his pale skin. 

From across the table, Roman stared at Virgil with concern. "That is _so_ not good for your skin."

Virgil stared back at Roman with a deadpanned expression. "Roman, babe, shut the hell your mouth."

Logan snorted at his companions' interactions, amused by Roman's trademarked offended princey noises. At the sound of Logan's amusement, Roman glared and Virgil smirked. 

"I'm being bullied by my friend and boyfriend!" Roman wailed dramatically, draping himself across the table in an outrageous pose. "This is homophobia!"

Virgil grunted and shoved Roman off the table, eliciting a soft "Oof!" from the prince and a snicker from Anxiety. Logan rolled his eyes.

"We're all gay, you royal pain in the ass," Logic pointed out.

Roman gasped in false surprise, crawling under the dining room table and popping up in the middle of Logan and Virgil. Roman grasped Logan's hand affectionately.

"Logan, is this your coming out?" Roman wiped a nonexistent tear from his eyes and sniffled. "Just know, we all love and accept you the way you are, Lolo. You'll always be our Logan."

Logan stared at Roman in disgust. "Virgil, please restrain your animal."

Roman sputtered. "Animal?! How dare you! I am a prince!"

Virgil ignored Roman's outburst and focused on Logan. "I'm sorry, I should have put him on a leash."

Roman glared at Virgil before grumbling and crawling back to his seat, crossarmed and pouting. "This is so definitely homophobia. And coming from my gay peers, too."

Logan couldn't help but chuckle.

From behind Roman, the kitchen door opened, revealing a certain side with a round and freckled face and a bright blue polo shirt right beneath a cardigan around his shoulders. On his hands, Patton carried a platter of pancakes and orange juice cups. Logan immediately blushed and averted his eyes to his hands. He didn't miss the curious flash of eyes Roman gave him, nor did he miss the suppressed smirk Virgil tried to hide.

Yesterday's realization had still sat in his mind, and yes, for a brief moment, he'd forgotten about it, but now that Patton himself was in the room, the memory dug itself from his mind and infested his thoughts.

Logan had a long time to think about his... uhm, unprofessional attraction with Morality, and yes, he'd accepted the fact that it was an infatuation, but the infatuation being reasonable was a hard to swallow pill. 

So, yes. He'd made up his mind on the matter.

Just distance himself from Morality. At least... at least until he can kill the infatuation. For now, act normal and control himself. Bargain with himself concerning how much time he was spending with the fatherly side, per say.

"Good morning, your royal highness," Patton greeted Roman, setting down a plate of a crown shaped pancake in front of Creativity. Roman giggled in response to the nickname.

Patton walked around the table, directly in between Logan and Virgil. Logan suppressed his blush. He inhaled quietly, practicing his breathing exercise to match his heart beat and keep it from bursting out of his chest. As he inhaled, he caught a whiff of Patton's smell. He smelled like cookies.

"Good morning, Stormcloud," Patton offered Virgil, sliding a plate of a thundercloud shaped pancake to the incredibly pale side. Virgil offered a smile in return and mumbled a thanks to which Patton lit up from.

From the side of his eyes, Logan saw Patton turn to him and smile, a smile just as blinding as the sun, if not more. Patton's eyes held the soft summer in them, despite it being considerably cool and cloudy weather. Logan wondered if Patton's eyes created their own electricity, judging by the brightness of their color. He quickly repressed that childish thought.

_Keep it straight, Logan._

 "Morning, Logan!" The father of the pseudo family chipperly put down a plate of tie shaped pancakes, beaming at Logan before his wide smile turned into a look of concern at Logan's disheveled appearance. "You don't look so well."

Logic couldn't help but take that personally. His hair was a mess, his eyes had deep bags, and he looked like he came straight out of a dumpster. Embarrassed, Logan rushed to say the first thing that came to mind:

"And you look wonderful as always, Morality."

He clamped his mouth shut. Did he just say that out loud? Oh god, he just said that out loud. 

From across the navy blue nerd, Roman snickered, eyeing Logan in a way that taunted him. Logan huffed and looked back up at Patton to find that the sky blue side was smiling from ear to ear, ecstatic eyes smiling in themselves.

"That's awfully nice of you, Logan!" The father figure figment praised. "But seriously, are you all right? Did you sleep well? Are you feeling sick? Does it feel like a fever? Did you eat anything bad?"

With every question, Patton inched closer and lowered his body down to look at Logan at eye level. The barrage of questions continued until Patton was a breath away. The smell of sweet cookies and vanilla extract made it's way to Logan's nose. Patton's hair looked temptingly fluffy to wave Logan's hand through, but he restrained himself.

Logic abruptly turned his face away from Morality, earning a confused and a hint of dejection expression from the other side. He immediately felt guilty but Logan merely cleared his throat and attempted to fake a smile. "I-I am well, Morality."

Patton shrugged and moved back up, but the passionate smile in his eyes seemed to be dulled down by Logan's condition. "If you say so, Lolo. Tell me if anything's bothering you, okay?"

Logan hurriedly nodded, ignoring the eyebrow raise from Virgil and the roll of eyes from Roman. "Of course."

And with that, Patton walked back into the kitchen.

Logan let out a sigh of relief, putting a hand over his heart to feel his quickening pulse. 

"What the everloving fuck was that!" 

Logan turned to the passionately gesturing Roman. A bright red blush made it's way over to Logan's face, flaring a highly pigmented color. "I do not know what you mean," he lied. 

"Bullshit." To his right, Virgil narrowed dark brown eyes, gesturing with his held fork. "The sexual tension was so thick, I almost suffocated." 

Logan's face heated up even more, throwing the two other sides glares, although the look was weakened down by the bright red of Logan's face. 

"I thought we concluded your crush on Patton Padre already!" Roman burst out.

Logan shushed him. "Keep it down!" Roman glared in return while Virgil fixed him with a deadpan look. "Okay, fine! I admit that... I may have an attraction of sorts with, uhm, Morality,  _but_ I'm sure it's nothing that won't go away if I just avoid him for a while."

Roman groaned loudly. "Dear lords, the bargaining phase has begun."

Virgil and Logan alike raised an eyebrow at Roman's choice of wording. "The  _what_ phase, now?"

"Bargaining," Roman began, sighing. "It's the phase where people like you—" Roman pointed an almost accusatory finger at Logan "—try to reason with yourself and think that you can control your feelings."

There's that word again. Feelings.

"You limit your interactions with the person on the other end of your infatuation in desperate hope that maybe, _just maybe_ , you'll fall out of love," Roman explained. "But the thing is: you can't! The heart isn't something you can control! The heart wants what it wants. And yours wants Patton."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Impossible. I surgically replaced my heart with memes and ten gallons of coffee, so good luck with that."

Virgil snorted. Roman frowned.

"I gave you a warning," Roman shrugged. 

* * *

And hence, the second sleepless night was spent.

The entire day, Logan spent trying as hard as he could to make up excuses to not be in the same room as Patton. However, the task proved difficult as Logic found himself staring at the disappointed face Patton made each excuse.

The requests started off innocently enough.

"Logan!" Patton would call from below the stairs, chipper voice echoing through the hallway of the second floor.

Logan would debate answering immediately.  _You have to avoid him, and if you answer right after he calls your name, he'll take it as an invitation to keep calling you._ So he'd pause and let silence drawl out for a few seconds or so before answering, "Yes, Patton?"

Patton's voice would grow sad, but still happy enough for it to be okay. Then the invitation to spend time with each other would be asked:

**3 o'clock**

_As polite as always_. "Do you mind helping me in the kitchen for a while? I might need a little assistance from you! I keep forgetting how many cups of chocolate chips I should put on a batch of cookies, and I figured you'd know! You're the smartest side, after all."

_Be dismissive._

* * *

**4 o'clock**

_As sweet as always_. "Would you please help me water the plants? You've been in your room all morning, and a few minutes outside with me might do you some good! Spend a moment out in the sun with me. Don't get me wrong, your paleness is very cute, but we don't want you to look like a vampire!"

_Be apathetic._

* * *

**5 o'clock**

_As thoughtful as always_. "Logan! I'm watching Big Hero Six! Take a break and watch it with me, pleaaaase! I'd love your company, and I know how much you like this movie!"

_Be neutral._

* * *

**6 o'clock**

_As pure as always_. "Hey, Lo! Would you like to take a walk with me? Roman and Virgil are out, and I'm a tad lonely! Besides, you make wonderful conversation! C'mon, please?"

_Be grounded._

* * *

**7 o'clock**

_As inclusive as always_. "Logan, I'm cooking dinner! Do you mind helping me  with it? You make the most wonderful food, and there's something off with my casserole, but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe you can figure it out! Pretty please?"

_Be careful._

* * *

**8 o'clock**

_As... Patton as always_. "Logan, do you wanna maybe help me set the table? I don't know the proper placement of the spoons and forks, haha. I bet you remember, though!"

_Be robotic._

* * *

The compliment after every request would make Logan's metaphorical heart skip a beat and the metaphorical butterflies in his stomachs would metaphorically flutter. But he had to remind himself:  _Keep away from him. You don't want your infatuation to get worse._

"Sorry, Patton. I'm busy."

**9 o'clock**

"Goodnight, Lo."

* * *

**_Roman Sanders created this group chat_ **

**_Roman Sanders added Virgil Sanders to this group chat_ **

**_Roman Sanders added Logan Sanders to this group chat_ **

**_Roman Sanders renamed this group chat "NERD MEETS WORLD"_ **

**_GROUP: NERD MEETS WORLD_ **

**_Roman Sanders:_ ** _logannnnn why must you wreck everything i looove_

_**Logan Sanders:**??_

_**Virgil Sanders:** hes upset ur ignoring patton_

_**Roman Sanders:** watching you tiptoe around your romantic destiny is stressing me the fUck out and im pretty sure im gonna die if you continue_

_**Roman Sanders:** trust me, i took a crash course on health once and i know my shit_

_**Logan Sanders:** Remind me again how my relationship - or rather, lack of - with Patton relates to you._

_**Roman Sanders:** yOURE RUINING LOGICALITY IS HOW AGXHSH_

_**Logan Sanders:**...Logicality? Is this one of those barge names?_

_**Virgil Sanders:** *ship names, L. didn't get it quite right but u tried (:_

**_Logan Sanders:_ ** _Well, thank you very much for the correction, Virgil._

_**Logan Sanders:** But aren't ship names used mainly for romantic pairings?_

_**Roman Sanders:** yES have you been paying attention to my lessons about fandom terminology at all??? _

_**Roman Sanders:** ugh whatever. the next phase is gonna make up for this anyway_

**_Logan Sanders:_ ** _???_

_**Roman Sanders:** ah, yes. the next phase: anger. sleep well logan_

**_Virgil Sanders:_ ** _):_

**_Roman Sanders:_ ** _and a good night to you, too, my dearest starshine. i wish to you the most wonderful of adventures tonight, love_

_**Virgil Sanders:** (:_

_**Logan Sanders:** Disgusting._

_**Logan Sanders has left NERD MEETS WORLD** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> afzgsh ahhh logan my confused logay  
> feelings are hArd aren't they
> 
> i say that because im sick and im filled with burning hatred for the world right now. but enough about my sickness, you need to see how gay my son is
> 
> he's literally,,,, just my own gay thoughts,,, rolled into one full male. hes me. oh my god ive written logan as myself. oh my god
> 
> avxhsh you know what that's ok   
> sorry if it gets horrible ooc because im not very good at writing logan as a serious, know it all smartass, and instead, i make him a more relatable gen z character
> 
> oh whatever tho it's fineeee 
> 
> <3 love y'all  
> -alex


	3. Logan Is Not Straight And Also Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyheyhey
> 
> This chapter was easy to write because I'm angry at myself 24/7!

Logan woke up angry.

After finally sleeping somewhere between 7AM and 8AM— he couldn't recall the exact time —his entire schedule had been thrown off. Instead of his punctual as always awakening at 8AM, Logan had woken up at 12PM, completely missing the loud beeping of his flaring alarm clock and resulting in him losing four hours of productivity.

And it was all because of Patton.

He shoved that thought away. Adorable and sweet Patton couldn't have caused this, it was his own fault for his infatuation for Patton.

 _Of course_ , a part of him reasoned, _this could have been prevented if Patton wasn't so adorable and sweet._

The boiling anger heated up more in Logan's stomach as he scowled and began the morning routine that was five hours due, finishing up the routine with a scowl prominent on his pale and slightly sickly looking face, his padded stomps muffled by the carpet as he made his way down the stairs and to the living room where the mingled laughter of Creativity and Anxiety mixed melodically from where they sat on the couch.

On his way, he passed by the doorway to the kitchen where he met Patton's eyes, both filling with worry at the sight of Logan, looking much more sickly than the last time they had seen each other yesterday.

"Good morning, Logan!" Although he tried to hide it, the distress in Patton's voice was badly masked with fake happy. "You feeling better?"

_Not with you and your stupidly beautiful face around, you terrifyingly wonderful being!_

"Yes, I feel much better. I'll see you later, Patton."

"Oh... well, okay!"

Logan stomped his way past the kitchen and to the living room, his eyes falling on the two other sides sitting calmly on opposite sides of the couch, appearing to have a normal conversation while laughing amongst themselves.

Although he couldn't explain why, the sight only fueled Logan's foul mood even more.

A frustrated sigh escaped Logan's body as he angrily sat on the couch, just in between the laughing couple, Virgil to his left and Roman to his right. A smirk curled up Romans face at the sight of Logan's frown.

"How are you, Logannnnn?" Romans smile stayed prominent on his face. 

Logan fixed him with a glare. Roman's grin spread wider in return. Virgil sighed, a soft smile forming at his mouth as he stared at the two other sides. From the kitchen, the sound of Patton humming happily wafted to the living room while the aroma of baking applepie ran through the walls.

Logan grumbled to himself at the sound, grabbing one of the couch cushions and shoving his face in it. His muffled voice groaned out, "Why must he have to be so... charming!"

Roman giggled, muttering something about how anger was the best phase for lovers. The prince let out a little laugh and rubbed Logan's back consolingly. "There, there, Logybear...." The tone of his voice was almost mocking.

Logan raised his head from the pillow only to glare at the right brained embodiment of creativity. "Don't even start."

Batting his eyelashes, Roman innocently replied, "I have no idea what you're talking about,  _Logybear._ "

Virgil lightly smacked his boyfriends shoulder, rolling his eyes and giving Roman a warning glance. Roman surrendered with a snort. Patton's humming only became louder at the forming silence. Logan groaned once more, shoving his face on the couch cushions again.

"Listen!" Logan cried in lovesick agony. "He's not even in the room and I'm already resulted to a puddle!"

"Loga—" Virgil started, only to be cut off.

"No! Why does he have to be so... him! I know we all have the same face and all, but I swear, every time I look at him, there's a twinkle of greatness I can't find in myself! It's frustrating, but he's so  _him_ that I can't even find it in myself to feel frustrated!"

Logan had long since abandoned the sweet shelter of his couch cushion and was now full-on gesturing wildly with his hands, tired eyes forming an annoyed expression as he continued his rant.

"It really isn't fair! He's got this aura around him, and I feel like it's a trap! It has to be a trap! No one is that _wonderful_ and that _caring_ and that _sweet_ and that... _that_! There's _something_ in that smile! It's so innocent, but it makes me feel _so_ small. Even thinking about his _stupidly_ perfect face has got me all twisted and... _ugh_!

"You know what?! How _dare_ he do this to me? How _dare_ he wreck my life into little tiny pieces and not even know what he's doing! How _absolutely dare_ he just barge into my metaphorical heart like he owns the place, and how _dare_ he even exist so _wonderfully shamelessly._ This is so _unfair!_ "

Logan shoved his face on Roman's shoulder, groaning loudly as he did so, feeling Virgil rub his back gently.

Roman looked at his mess of a nerd and snorted, but even the sound of amusement was filled with concern for the navy nerd. "Logan, buddy... you have got it _rough_." 

"God, Ro, don't get him fired up again," Virgil half-joked, half-warned, a look in his eyes basically screaming,  _Roman, I swear to gOD if he starts ranting about Patton again, I will stab you_ —

Logan dramatically sighed, sitting up straight and hugging his couch cushion. Irritated yet relieved, Logan closed his eyes, happy to have let that out of his system. "I hate how someone so wonderful could exist, and I hate how lucky I am to have met him."

Next to him, Logan heard Roman sigh contentedly. "It really is like that sometimes, huh?"

Logan snorted, feeling his anger melt away into a small buzzing of admiration. "That's easy for you to say, Princey. You're already in a relationship with the person you're into. Fucking romantic loser."

Roman raised his hands defensively. "Look here," he joked, "just because I'm dating Virgil doesn't mean I know how I did it."

Virgil laughed. "Pure charm," he answered wisely, nodding like an old mentor straight from an anime. 

Roman's chest puffed out with pride. "I am very charming, aren't I?" 

Logan and Virgil rolled their eyes as the room fell into a comfortable silence. With a hint of surprise, Logan realized that the melodic humming from the applepie smelling kitchen had stopped, replaced by the annoying beeping of the oven.

Logan wished that the oven hadn't beeped, finding himself longing to hear more of Morality's soft but deep humming. Unlike yesterday, Logan didn't shove that longing away to the deepest part of his imagination.

Instead, he replayed the humming in his head, questioning how someone could, once again, be so perfect. Logan sighed before tiredly yawning.

"Jesus, L, what time did you sleep?" Virgil asked, concern lacing his words.

"Maybe eight...." Logan drawled, yawning again after his sentence. 

"PM?" Roman questioned. "That's relatively earl—"

"AM," Logan corrected.

"Yeah, okay, wow."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "That's it. Go to sleep. Lay your stupid head down right here, right now, and go to sleep. Take a nap or something!"

"But... pie!" Logan argued weakly, pouting.

Virgil fixed him with a stern look. "It's not even cooled yet. I'll wake you up in half an hour. You need to rest, you nerd."

Logan didn't even bother to fight it anymore, opting to exhale and let his body fall on the couch, using Virgil's legs as a pillow and Roman's as a foot rest.

Roman grumbled at Logan's use of his legs, but he didn't make a move to shove Logan off them, instead complaining about it halfheartedly.

"Shut up and let the loser rest, Princey."

"Ugh. It won't help that the second to last phase is due tomorrow. He's gonna be  _such_ an insufferable mess." Logan could basically sense Roman's dramatic hand gestures as he talked, but everything the two sides were saying was gibberish to his mind that just. Wanted. To. Sleep.

"What do you mean?" Virgil pressed curiously.

"Fourth phase," Roman explained. "For most people, it's sadness, and for others, it's delusion. Either way, Logan's in for a bad tasting treat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick life update:  
> I'm still ~sick~   
> I'm also very ~cold~  
> And I wish for ~f o o d~
> 
> Anyway this chapter was a mess and as a mess myself id know! Idk what to say rlly.... uhm??? Words???  
> I'm gonna go lmao


	4. Logan Is Gay And Also Sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you, the reader; oh its valentines day!! this'll be a wonderful lovey dovey episode 
> 
> me, the author who preys on your crushing reactions; lol sounds fake but ok

As promised, yesterday, Virgil woke Logan up from his nap, and Logic was definitely thankful for that. Nothing went wrong when he awoke, and the only change in his attitude was the lack of irritation when he opened his eyes, which, once again, he was very thankful for. 

But when Logan made his way to the sweet smelling kitchen with Roman and Virgil, something about the sight of the baby blue and khaki clad Patton gave him an unsettling feeling in his metabolism.

At the moment, he couldn't describe it with a word. It stirred something in his stomach that traveled up his heart. Whatever it was, Logan shoved it away and forced himself to sit on the breakfast bar of their kitchen, smiling at Patton who smiled back with the full force of the Sun. 

Logan felt his face heat up, but he blamed it on the steaming hot apple pie that carried the sweet aroma of the countryside and sugar up his nose.

Lunch went by surprisingly uneventfully. Roman cracked his own jokes and fantasies and engaged in playful word of wits with Virgil like usual, and Patton, the cookie loving baby he was, started conversations and joined in with his own childish inputs. In that moment, Logan felt an overwhelming sense of belonging, next to the bickering couple and the lovely fatherly side.

But a pang of sadness went through his heart at the sight of Patton just below the kitchen lights. The yellow glow made Patton look not unlike an angel of joy, and Logan much enjoyed the sight, so the sadness went unprecedented. 

However, Logan just ignored the feeling that begged for his attention to take in the feeling of wholesomeness. After the hours of sitting and socializing with his own family, Logan excused himself to his room with a smile and a wave, half to get to work, and half because the feeling in his stomach that crawled up his heart now occupied his mind, and the logical side needed time to think.

And so, here began another, more insufferable phase.

* * *

After being unable to find himself the sweet release of sleep with the knawing feeling the emitted from the metaphorical pit in his stomach, Logan stood from his bed and did what he did best: analyze.

With restless feet, Logan decided better than to sit down on his office chair and instead settling into a pace, pacing from one navy blue wall to another in a way to keep his legs satisfied and busy. His footsteps did make a light muffle from hitting the beige carpet, but Logan assumed that no one would hear the soft padding.

With his thinking position set and his restlessness calmed, Logan began his ritual of analyzing, only this time he was analyzing something completely new: feelings.

_What is the root of this situation? Where did it all begin?_

Answering himself, Logan muttered, "My inner emotional turmoil began when I was introduced to the idea that I may have been infatuated with Patton."

_Am I infatuated with Patton?_

Logan hummed to himself in thought before muttering to himself. "Yes, it is safe to say that I am. With proven evidence of Roman— who is knowledgable in the feild of love as proven by both his being right so far and his ability to engage in a romantic relationship with Virgil who I didn't know was capable of love —as well as my own experiences, I can safely assume that I am infatuated with Patton."

_Hm. And does knowing that I am infatuated with Morality make me uncomfortable?_

Logan stopped his pacing abruptly, stopping in the middle of his neatly organized space. Lost in thought, Logan resumed pacing, his feet hitting the carpet much louder now. 

"I— no," he answered uncertainly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "I don't think it does? This won't negatively affect my own personal projects and I wouldn't be uncomfortable with the idea of having a relationship with Patton, whether it's romantic or if he prefers it to be platonic."

_Do I prefer it to be romantic or platonic?_

He was definitely moving faster now, his pacing becoming much more than a gentle pace and getting closer to a slow jog. "Romantic."

_Why don't I extend an offer for romantic relationship?_

"What if he rejects me?"

_What if he rejects me?_

Logan stopped. 

With the now quiet room that was absent of his footsteps sounding around it, Logan became acutely aware of his now ragged breathing and his tired legs. 

 _That's what it was, then_ , He realized.  _It was more than sadness_ —  _it was the fear of rejection._

Feeling the pit in his stomach grow larger by the second and the dryness of his throat from the pace turned run, Logan groaned loudly, sweeping a hand over his face. He never should have gotten out of his bed.

Sighing, the logical side opted to satisfy his tired throat and went to his door to make his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. No sooner than when he opened his door, Logan came face-to-face with Patton himself.

"O—Oh, hello Morality," Logan stuttered out.

Patton let out a tired smile, and only then did Logan notice the darkening circles under Morality's eyes, just behind those wide rimmed glasses. The wrinkles on his baby blue pajamas were evident that Patton had just rolled out of bed.

"Hey, Lo," Patton yawned out, the attempt of a smile looking more like a tired grimace on his face. "Sorry to disturb you, but could you maybe keep the pacing to a low volume?"

Logan frowned. He internally slapped his face. Dear god, he'd waken up Patton with his careless actions. Was he honestly that selfish? How self-absorbed was he to disregard everyone who was asleep at this your?

Patton seemed to catch wind of the growing guilt on the logical sides face because he immediately dropped the smile and put on a reassuring face. 

"Hey, hey, its fine!" He assured, grinning honestly. "It wasn't causing an earthquake or anything, I'm just a light sleeper is all!"

 _That was a lie,_ Logan's internal monologue reminded him.  _Patton wasn't a light sleeper. He even needed five alarms to ensure he woke up in the morning, each one with the volume pulled up to the highest and the vibrate all the way up. Must've been pretty loud to wake him._

Deciding it was probably best to not let Patton know that he knew, Logan sighed. "Of course," he let out defeatedly, faking a smile to pretend ignorance to Patton's lie. 

"Weeeell," Morality drawled out, "where you headed to?"

"Hm?"

"You opened the door before I knocked. I assumed you were going somewhere, but I don't know. Assuming makes an as out of su and me!"

Logan grinned. "Do you actually not know how the actual saying goes?"

Patton winked, as if sharing a secret. Logan only grinned wider. "So," Patton continued. "Where you headed?"

"Downstairs. Just getting some water."

Patton shrugged, nodding. "Water sounds nice right about now, huh?"

Seizing the opportunity to be nice, Logan blurted, "I can bring you some back upstairs."

Patton beamed. "Really? Well, shucks, that'd be wonderful!"

"Yes," Logan agreed, growing nervous and feeling vulnerable under Patton's angelic glow and heavenly smile. "Just, uhm, wait in my room, I'll be right back."

Patton smiled, and once again, the universe meant something. Angels sang and somewhere in the world, an entire feild of flowers bloomed. Something as wonderful as seeing a moment in which Patton let out a grin was just... so beautiful that it made Logan's existence make sense. And to know that the grin was directed  _at him,_ for  _him!_ Well, he must've been doing something right to deserve such an expression from an angel.

And the crushing dread that someone as beautiful and as pure as Patton would never accept Logan's hand in a relationship... Well, that just about killed him.

Patton was the sun.

And Logan was just another Icarus who flew too close.

The fall would be inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez Logan is a Sad boye pray for him 😔😔
> 
> Hey im very proud of that lil icarus metaphor at the and there!! Please read it again and notice how beautiful it sounds!! Yeah, thats right. It's absolutely stunning uwu


	5. Logan's a Hopeless Gay And Also Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 24 days since the last update! Thats a new record!
> 
> Lol anyway im sorry i dont have an excuse this time, i just forgot i existed for like... a month lmao

Perhaps Logan delayed his trip downstairs for water a bit more than necessary. Perhaps he delayed said trip because of a certain someone he knew was going to be in his room when he got back. Perhaps that certain someone was Patton.

With light steps and careful balance, Logan walked back up the stairs, both his hands occupied with two big glasses of water. He walked slowly through the hallway, passing the bathrooms and guest rooms, careful not to let any water slip.

But, as many of his plans seem to end up, Roman ruined his careful steps. 

As Logic passed by Creativity's door, the loudly decorated door swing open and Logan was pulled inside, too shocked to utter a sound. He stumbled, as one would do if you're suddenly pulled to a room without your knowing consent, and dropped both glasses of water.

Logan's face barely had enough time to pale before he realized his hands were empty. He shut his eyes tightly, awaiting the inevitable crash and shatter, but it never came.

After the initial dread and adrenaline had faded to a full thud, the physical embodiment of logic opened his tightly shut eyes, leading the calculating orbs to the two glasses of water floating midair, less than a foot off the ground in an elegant display of frozen water spilling gracefully.

Logan let out a sigh of relief before confronting the side that pulled him in the room. "Roman, what the fuck."

Creativity stood a towering height in front of him, looking more annoyed than apologetic. With a quick flick of his wrist, Roman willed the glasses and the water to disappear completely. "Okay, we have to talk."

Logan raised an eyebrow, a growing unease settling in the pits of his already nervous stomach. "U-Uh... what about?"

The deep voice of another side spoke up from Roman's bed. Virgil, laying down with his attention on his phone, snorted. "Roman, you're scaring the poor nerd."

Roman's expression softened at that as he sighed. "Logan, there comes a time in everybody's life where they have to accept something."

Logan looked at Roman, pursing his lips. "...Am I dying?"

Virgil burst into laughter. Roman gave a chuckle and rolled his melted chocolate eyes. "Geez, calm down, Logay, you're not dying—" 

Logan let out a relieved breath. 

"—but you may feel like you are."

And in goes another nervous breath. "That's..." he searched for a suitable word, "reassuring?"

Another roll of eyes. "All right, dude, here's the deal: two doors away, the love of your life is waiting for you, and it's your choice to do what you want to do. This is the perfect opportunity to perhaps confess, but I need to know one thing— how do you feel?"

Logic's eyebrows furrowed in concentration at the question. "Umm? Satisfactory?"

Roman fixed him with a stare. "Don't give me that bullshit, Lo. You're a poetic guy."

Logan shook his head. "Why are you so concerned with how I feel?" It was an attempt to keep the conversation from the subject of feelings, of course, but Roman only sighed.

"Why would I not be?" Roman chuckled. "You've been dancing around each other for weeks on end now, and quite frankly, it's getting annoying to sit around and wait for you both to rant to me about how ' _he's so smart, Roman!'_ or _'he's so sweet, Roman!'_ and all that! Quite frankly, I'm the romantic side, and if neither of you will make a move, I'll make a move for you."

Logan blinked owlishly. He looked to Virgil on the bed who returned the look with a shrug. Logan sighed defeatedly. "All right, then. That's fair. I suppose I  _was_ pretty... hung up on talking only about Patton, huh?"

"No shit, Sherlock," Virgil called.

Logan let out a sigh. "Alright, fine. I've... accepted the fact that I may have an infatuation with him, but I'm... not quite sure what to do next."

Roman's expression softened, eyes crinkling in soft amusement and sides of his mouth gently quirking up to a fond smile one might give to a child. "You do your best."

Virgil let out a monotone, "Woo, you did it, nice pep talk. Princey, come back here and look at this meme I found."

Roman rolled his eyes. 

Logan grinned, turning his attention to Virgil. "How long have you been in that position on Roman's bed."

Virgil glanced at him with a blank expression, eyebags prominent on his pale and angular face. "I haven't moved my legs in seventy five years," he answered.

Logan held back a laugh. "That has got to be unhealthy."

Virgil gave him a lazy once-over before letting a sharp smile grace his lips. "You know what's unhealthy? Bottling your hopeless emotions up for days at a time and continuously asking my boyfriend for relationship advice."

Offended, Logan shot Anxiety the bird. "You have problems."

"Shut your fuck."

"Shut  _your_ fuck."

"Wow, L, copying my words?" Virgil raised a joking eyebrow. "I know you're in love with me and everything, but there can only be one real Virgil in this family, and I've been cast to play the part."

"Trust me, I wouldn't wish to be you at all."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Sure, buddy, keep telling yourself that. We all know I'm the favorite side." Virgil winked. Logan pretended to vomit.

"With your bad habits and defeatist attitude?" He shot back playfully. "I wouldn't wish to be you for the price of a penny. You may be the favorite side, but everyone knows I'm the best."

"Keep telling yourself that, love."

"Oh my god, Logan take your water back and get out of mt room," Roman interrupted, snapping his fingers and willing the two glasses of water to Logans hands. "And Virgil, stop flirting with him, I'm your boyfriend."

Virgil let out a grin and a wink. "I've got two hands."

"And I wouldn't want to hold either of them," Logan shot jokingly.

With a quick and thankful smile to Roman and a tongue stick to Virgil, Logan left the room, the door closing behind him. Taking a deep intake of breath, Logan pushed the door to his room open and stepped inside.

* * *

Patton was asleep when he entered, a serene look on his angelic face with his gentle curls falling on bis rosy face and crooked glasses resting on his small nose. Under the blue lighting of Logan's room and surrounded by navy blue constellation blankets, Patton was the vision of perfection.

Logan, on the other hand, physicallt could not breathe at the sight of such an angel who seemingly fell asleep on his bed. The sight of such pureness in one person almost seemed scandalous. Logan debated walking out the room and screeching in gay panic, but the inner Roman in his head pressured him into staying.

Much too afraid to awaken the angel on his bed, Logan opted to set the water on his desk and sit on the swivel chair, turning it to face Patton's sleeping form.

Yes, maybe staring at someone sleep to admire their beauty was borderline creepy, but Logan's first reaction was to leave and scream, so he guessed the alternative was much better. He was almost tempted to capture the moment with his phone camera. 

And so he did.

The picture didn't do Patton's ethereal beauty justice, but he guessed it would suffice. As for the privacy thing... Logan guessed he could always just ask Patton if it was okay he took a picture of him.

Standing up from the chair with a quiet exhale, Logan quietly tiptoed to his bed, giving Patton a gentle smile as he took off the man's glasses and set them down on the bedside desk. Unable to resist the Call of the Curls(tm), Logan ran his hands carefully through the hazelnut hair, the feathery soft texture surprising him as he brushed it out of Patton's face.

With a tender touch that surprised even himself, Logan positioned Patton in a much more comfortable placement he estimated wouldn't hurt the man's posture the next day and covered him on a blanket.

Smiling a soft goodbye, Logan turned to leave, but just as he took one step, Patton's tired voice muffled out, "Hm, there's enough space for the two of us on your bed." He yawned. "I'd feel bad if you had to sleep somewhere else."

Logan froze. Without a word, he climbed on the bed, positioning himself next to Patton, giving Morality plenty of space by keeping himself in a position that gave him much less room to move.

Patton tiredly chuckled at this, instead scooting closer to Logan. "Ease up, Lo."

And so he did, feeling his muscles release tension. Patton smiled. A long, comfortable silence surrounded the two in its warm embrace. Until Patton broke it.

"Hey, Logan?"

He felt his breath hitch. "Y-Yeah?" Logan internally slapped himself at the sound of the stutter. 

"Why are you avoiding me?"

Logan tensed. "I'm not avoiding you."

He turned his head to look down at Patton who stared at him with owlish anf unblinking eyes. "...I really don't believe you," his company whispered, voice soaked in sorrow and disappointment. "I'm annoying, aren't I?"

Logan blinked and stared in disbelief. Patton? Annoying? Energetic sometimes, yes, but in the best way. Like a puppy longing to be acknowledged. Had he really been that insensitive to Patton. 

Logan sat up. "Why do you think I'm avoiding you?"

Patton followed suit, sitting up with his back against the bed headboard. He sighed deeply and shrugged. "This past month you've barely even talked to me," he answered truthfully. "And when I made an effort to try to hang out with you, you always made up excuses."

Logan beckoned for him to continue, and Patton, with his eyes avoiding Logan's own stare, continued. "I thought you were just busy. That would have been reasonable. But every time Roman and Virgil even looked in your general direction, you're suddenly rapt in a conversation and it just... I don't know. I understand, I guess, but...."

Patton hiccupped, and it was in the moment that Logan noticed the way Patton gripped the bed sheets like it tethered him to reality as well as the small shimmer of a drop of a clear substance fall onto the sheets. Patton was crying.

It was both impressive and concerning how Patton's voice stayed moderately steady even as the silent hiccups fell from his mouth.

Logan suddenly wished he wasn't alone in the room. Not only ten minutes with Patton and he'd already made him cry. In an effort to comfort the crying side, Logan gave his shoulders short pats. 

"Patton." Logan muttered the name breathlessly. He suddenly didn't feel like the ideal person to be saying the name. "Patton, could you please look at me?"

The slightest sound of a pathetic whimper escaped Patton's lips for a brief moment before he followed Logan's request and their eyes met. It was like a crashing sensation to see Patton's tear-streaked cheeks, honey brown eyes watering with silent tears gracing his delicate facial features.

Unlike the metaphorical roses that erupted whenever Logan had the priviledge to stare at Patton's eyes from this close, dread filled Logan's stomach. If a person like Patton had a reason to cry, then the universe didn't deserve his pure presence. 

Gulping to find his voice, Logan stared at Patton with unblinking eyes. "Listen to me, Patton. You do not annoy me, and you do not and will never be able to evoke negative emotions from me, ever."

Patton sniffled, using the back of his hand to roughly wipe stray tears. He nodded as Logan pressed on. "You're nothing but a wonderful energy, and you're so  _good_ it almost hurts. Never, ever doubt that." 

Patton's lips twisted to a watery smile, but the sadness in his normally happy eyes stayed prominent on his round face. "You mean that?"

Logan's steely and analytical eyes softened to a sweet expression. "Of course. This past month has just been... exhausting, and I was dealing with something that only Virgil and Roman could help with."

Patton pouted. "I could have done something," he insisted.

"I don't doubt that, Patton." It was true. Getting Patton involved in the first place would have made this a hell of a lot easier. "But I was a bit too stubborn to involve you. For the most part of the weeks, I felt as if I was... inconveniencing you and myself."

"What were you working on?"

The question was innocent enough. But Logan hadn't thought of a reasonable answer. He froze up.

 _Oh, how to control my hormones,_ he could say, to sum it all up.

"Emotions," he answered simply. 

Patton's eyebrows furrowed together. "I'm the living personification of emotions."

"How about love?" Logan blurted out. As soon as he said it, he regretted it, but oh well... too late to turn back.

Morality, however, seemed to be urprised by the statement, but hw did his best to answer. "I think it's a wonderful thing, especially considering how I  _am_ love in a way. I love many things, and  _am_ responsible for the emotion."

Logan pursed his lips and thought before replying. "Not platonic love. Not objective love. Not materialistic love.  _Romantic_ love."

"...Were you helping Roman and Virgil with their relationship?"

Logan almost laughed aloud at that. Him? Helping with love? What a mess that would surely be. "Quite the contrary, Patton. They were helping me."

Patton seemed skeptical. "With... romantic love?" 

Logan merely nodded. "Yes."

Caramel eyes bore into Logan's dirt brown ones, as if trying to detect a lie. In the end, Patton shrugged, loosening his frown and forcing it into a small, skeptic smile. "Well, if you wanted to learn about the subject, you still coul have consulted me, Lo—"

" _IthinkI'minlovewithyou."_

The moment he said it, he regretted it.

Patton's smile fell, his eyes widening in shock and a mix of emotions Logan wouldn't dare to decipher. Patton's open form stiffened, as if closing himself from the world— from Logan.

Small tears bubbled in Patton's clear eyes, rolling down his cheeks when he blinked. His expression remained unreadable, and Logan braced himself for the worst.

Too scared to reach out to Patton, Logan profusely blurted out apologies, guilt spilling from his mouth. "Oh my god, Patton, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I crossed the line, I shouldn't have done anything, god I'm so sorry, I didn't think and I—"

"Logan." The interrupted was but a whisper, soft and frail and without emotion. Watery tears still streaked down Patton's tear-stained cheeks, right over his unreadable face. "It's okay."

"B-But it's not!" He cried, hands running through ebony hair. "It's not because you're so  _amazing_ and you're so  _wonderful_ and I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did, and I'm  _sorry._ "

Patton remained silent, blinking at him with an empty stare.

"I _know_ I shouldn't feel this way, and I _know_ you don't want me to feel this way, and I'm so _stupid_ for feeling _anyway_ , but you're just so _great_ and it _hurts_ , Patton. It hurts to know that _you'll never feel the same_ and it hurts to know that _I've failed myself as Logic_ , and now _I'm keeping you from being Morality_ , and now, I just—" Logan hiccupped, mirrored tears falling from his angular face "—I don't know _what_ to feel anymore. I don't even know if I _should_ feel." 

Logic sheilded his face with his hands. "I'm so sorry, Patton."

It was a minute of silence before Logan felt two warm arms around him. It was two minutes of silence when Logan lowered his hands from his face and returned the hug. It was five minutes when the two separated, the warmth of the hug lingering on their shoulders. 

Their eyes met, and Patton spoke. "I think I've loved you for a while now," he confessed.

Logan blinked in disbelief. "But... you cried?"

Patton laughed, a bubbling one, raspy from the rawness od his throat from crying. It was genuine with a touch of desperation. 

"Crying doesn't always mean sadness, Logan." Logan stated at him as he continued with a delicate smile plastered on his face. "Just like Logic doesn't mean unfeeling."

They stared at each other, not noticing how they slowly inched closer and closer until suddenly—

The smell of cookies and vanilla wafted into Logan's nostrils as the taste of strawberry and hot chocolate engulfed his tongue. Pale faces exploded with color and knotted stomachs filled with heat. And for a moment, just a moment, Logan's ever-thinking brain stopped thinking and started  _feeling._ In his chest, his heart beat with warmth and determination. 

They pulled away by inches, out of breath and grinning like fools. Patton laughed breathlessly. Logan smiled in agreement, touching foreheads with Patton. 

Wordlessly, Patton englufed Logan in another hug, Logan mirroring the gesture gently.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p,,,pleaSe be gentle with me if theres a lot of shitty writing in this one,,,,,, im v sAd
> 
> if ur wondering why this started so fluff uwu and ended so angst òwó heres a brief explanation:
> 
> i started this fic crushing on this cute girl in my class who was rlly pretty and thats why logan was so hopeless and in denial in the first scenes (i got over her. mostly. shes still really pretty and she still wears pretty skirts and her freckles are so nice and hOly heckin bible she dyed her hair and wOw)
> 
> bUt i ended it crushing on this pretty boye that was my friend who likEd someone else and constantly talked to me abOuUt them and thats why logan was all 'i'll never hECKING be with pATton' near the end. (i got over him too. mostly. it still hurts me when he goes 'let me tEll you about how cUte my crush is)
> 
> anyway ily bb <3  
> never change  
> the world needs u the way u are and i love u very much  
> -alex

**Author's Note:**

> avxhshs I'm weak for pining Logan and also gay
> 
> anyway! welcome to my own personal logicality hell, I've been obsessing writing over this fic for a few weeks now, and i just thought: hEy Valentine's day is like,,, very close,,, like frighteningly close,,,, oh god I'm so alone. well. im gonna write some logay for the internet!!
> 
> and here we are!! 
> 
> in all honesty, i really like writing this and i hope y'all like reading it! and yes, im self projecting my feelings on logan shut up
> 
> anyway, comments are always appreciated and incredibly encouraged! if you need help formulating a comment, a keysmash is always appreciated as well as a simple 'omg this wasn't as bad as i thought it would be! wow! 7/10!'
> 
> <3 ily  
> -alex
> 
> consider giving me some valentine love by following me on tumblr at @skittlesun or go directly to my profile at https://www.tumblr.com/blog/skittlesun
> 
> thanks!


End file.
